deskribe

Today I made popcorn with trail mix for dessert and my mom said “wow that’s pretty...

Sat, 18 May 2013 19:12:21 -0400

Today I made popcorn with trail mix for dessert and my mom said “wow that’s pretty unhealthy compared to all the other food you eat.”

I literally ran away crying.

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Thu, 02 May 2013 15:52:32 -0400

ifonlythesilencetakesyou: let our passion bleed on We Heart It...

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 03:03:51 -0400

ifonlythesilencetakesyou:

let our passion bleed on We Heart It - http://weheartit.com/entry/39355334/via/BreatheShoutSummer

Hearted from: http://ignitemypassion.tumblr.com/post/33011136614

"Love itself became the object of her love. She loved herself in love, she loved loving love, as love..."

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 03:01:52 -0400

“Love itself became the object of her love. She loved herself in love, she loved loving love, as love loves loving, and was able, in that way, to reconcile herself with a world that fell so short of what she would have hoped for.”

- Everything is Illuminated, Jonathan Safran Foer, pg. 110 (via myasuoka)

"I have always found something poignantly endearing about lost people, who go through life as though..."

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 03:01:16 -0400

“I have always found something poignantly endearing about lost people, who go through life as though the world is a bus station in a strange city, where they have got off by mistake and now have no idea where they went wrong or how to get away, or where to.”

- Amos Oz, Panther in the Basement (via wetriedandwedied)

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Thu, 18 Apr 2013 03:00:07 -0400

she-lives-in-her-fairytale: lifeislove | via Tumblr on We Heart...

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 02:59:57 -0400

she-lives-in-her-fairytale:

lifeislove | via Tumblr on We Heart It. http://weheartit.com/entry/56184968/via/xChey

"I am sick to death of cleverness. Everybody is clever nowadays. You can’t go anywhere without..."

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 02:56:59 -0400

“I am sick to death of cleverness. Everybody is clever nowadays. You can’t go anywhere without meeting clever people. The thing has become an absolute public nuisance. I wish to goodness we had a few fools left.”

- Oscar Wilde (The Importance of Being Earnest)

"And then one student said that happiness is what happens when you go to bed on the hottest night of..."

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 02:55:42 -0400

“And then one student said that happiness is what happens when you go to bed on the hottest night of the summer, a night so hot you can’t even wear a tee-shirt and you sleep on top of the sheets instead of under them, although try to sleep is probably more accurate. And then at some point late, late, late at night, say just a bit before dawn, the heat finally breaks and the night turns into cool and when you briefly wake up, you notice that you’re almost chilly, and in your groggy, half-consciousness, you reach over and pull the sheet around you and just that flimsy sheet makes it warm enough and you drift back off into a deep sleep. And it’s that reaching, that gesture, that reflex we have to pull what’s warm - whether it’s something or someone - toward us, that feeling we get when we do that, that feeling of being sad in the world and ready for sleep, that’s happiness.”

- Paul Schmidtberger (via melesae)

"Something came and went between us: the intimate pleasure of recognition, the almost mystical thrill..."

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 02:53:58 -0400

““Something came and went between us: the intimate pleasure of recognition, the almost mystical thrill of early ownership…It was a roll-call in reverse; the children of the past announced their names, and I said ‘Here.’ “”

- - L.P. Hartley, The Go-Between
(via thelampsaidfouroclock)

"We’re all lonely for something we don’t know we’re lonely for. How else to explain the curious..."

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 02:48:29 -0400

“We’re all lonely for something we don’t know we’re lonely for. How else to explain the curious feeling that goes around feeling like missing somebody we’ve never even met?”

- David Foster Wallace (via aqua-de-la-luna)

"Everything I’ve ever let go of has claw marks on it."

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 02:48:12 -0400

“Everything I’ve ever let go of has claw marks on it.”

- David Foster Wallace (via aqua-de-la-luna)

"Between some two people every word is beautiful, or might as well be beautiful."

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 02:47:56 -0400

““Between some two people every word is beautiful, or might as well be beautiful.””

- from ‘The Optimist’s Daughter’ by Eudora Welty (via culturalreserve)

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Thu, 18 Apr 2013 02:44:33 -0400

"Feelings do not grow old along with the body. Feelings form part of a world I don’t know, but it’s a..."

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 02:43:29 -0400

““Feelings do not grow old along with the body. Feelings form part of a world I don’t know, but it’s a world where there’s no time, so space, no frontiers.””

- Paul Coelho, Brida (via letsbethedifference)

"He drifted off into sleep, and Janie looked down on him and felt a self-crushing love, so her soul..."

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 02:42:26 -0400

“He drifted off into sleep, and Janie looked down on him and felt a self-crushing love, so her soul crawled out from its hiding place.”

- Their Eyes Were Watching God (via justemmaly)

"Take me to your trees. Take me to your breakfasts, your sunsets, your bad dreams, your shoes, your..."

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 02:40:19 -0400

“Take me to your trees. Take me to your breakfasts, your sunsets, your bad dreams, your shoes, your nouns. Take me to your fingers.”

- Margaret Atwood, Good Bones (via larmoyante)

It’s feeling raw. The emotional manifestation of being sick and not able to tolerate cold or...

Tue, 16 Apr 2013 04:56:35 -0400

It’s feeling raw. The emotional manifestation of being sick and not able to tolerate cold or expend any energy and all you want is to be safe in your bed. Except you can’t be safe in your bed because there’s no such equivalent safe place for your mind. It’s just you, and you have to comfort yourself.

One Sided Heartbreak

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 22:59:00 -0400

He’s charming and British and wonderful. He’s holding your hand and saying that he likes you, really likes you! (Do people even do that anymore? Do we say that anymore?). He’s sleeping in your bed and cuddling you tight and doesn’t push for sex. He’s telling you that you’re wonderful and gorgeous and he laughs at your jokes and you laugh at his. Of course you fall for him.

You start eating again and tell him about the bad and the good and the bad family and the good recovery. You show him your crazy and he stays. Of course you fall even harder.

It’s his birthday and you’re his girl and it’s you and him and it feels right. It feels safe and warm and you’ve never felt that before and for once you feel wanted in the way that feels right. You start to let yourself wonder if this could last.

You give him a part of you. You give him trust and a space in your mind. You clear out a little spot in your heart for him to call home and hope that you’re inching your way into his. You think you are. Everything says that you are.

You’re delusional. You’re a rebound. He’s still talking to his ex. You try everything. The only other time you’ve been quoted Shakespeare was when you were thirteen;

“See how she leans her cheek upon her hand.

O that I were a glove upon that hand

That I might touch that cheek!”

This time is decidedly different.

“What’s done is done.”

It bothers you that he used the quote in the wrong context.

How you couldn’t eat for a month. How we had a “really, really good thing”, how he’s probably never mentioned you to anybody since. How it “isn’t you it’s me”. Shopping binges and silence on your birthday. Drunk text messages changing from ;);)<3 to plain desperate. How you had already though about Christmas and spring and it just vanished. How you’re now terrified that anybody and anything could just vanish. How sometimes you wish you could just vanish.

You gave him a piece of yourself and all you have to show for it is a stupid rubber anti-cancer bracelet. When you broke down about your dying grandfather and he looked you in the eye for just a second before walking away.

How you tried to go back. How you drank yourself into oblivion. Acid to escape, M to feel alright, shrooms to think about something else. How you slept with his friend so you could pretend it was him. How you slept with another to find anybody that wasn’t him.

On Valentines day when you started to binge and purge again just because you wanted him back. (You were half convinced he would come back.) How it’s become more about being unwanted than about him. How you don’t even remember who he is, just the fact that he has a piece of you. Trying to figure out how to get it back. Maybe accepting that you’ll never get it back.

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Sun, 07 Apr 2013 22:06:28 -0400